Friday, 21 March 2025

Stopping By Stuff . . .

Fly-tipping is a blight, a blot on the landscape and what's worse - in think you'd agree - fly-blogging is a blot on the blogscape.  So when I came across this fly-tipped couch/settee/sofa and easychair/armchair, depending on your country of origin and clahss -

 



 - I was (naturally) reminded (*) of a poem by Robert Frost, which I respond to here, prompted by this week's prompt on POEMS AND STORYTELLERS UNITED.


Whose couch is this?  I think it's lost.
Who chucked it out?  What did it cost?
It has not seen me stopping here.
It's arm-rest are all stiff with frost.

My little horse thinks I am queer
to stop because a couch is near.
He often does a double-take
when fly-tipped furnishings appear.

He gives his frosted rump a shake
to ask if I've made some mistake.
But frozen sofas make me weep.
I'd thaw them with a long, slow bake.

Its pattern's loverly!  Cushions deep.
A couch I'd really love to keep.
But - with miles to go before I sleep
I'll leave it for the rubbish heap.

(*) Not true!  In fact I stole if from another blog authored by a certain Dr.FTSE, who will - I know - forgive me because if he doesn't, he knows I'll tell all bogland WHO HE REALLY IS, WHERE HE LIVES etc etc!

Tuesday, 18 March 2025

Breaking News . . .

 Friends and Fans -

I have been unable to lament this last eighteen months or so.  The reason?  I have been in hospital (or, as our German allies say "Das Krankenhaus."  With your leave I will digress for a moment to point out that IMHO, 'Krankenhaus" conveys the nature of the building, and it's purpose, more accurately than "hospital." I mean, who would voluntarily go to a "hospital" unless they were krankened, afflicted with krankenitis, or temporary playing host to the socially embarrassing krankenohno virus?)

Where was I?  Yes, in das krankenhaus, struck down by a debilitating attack of  non-melancholic merrimentosis, (common name cheerfulness.)  But be sure, be very sure, I am now convalescing and, as one more famous than I said . . .


"I'LL BE BACK!"

and every bit as gloomy as usual. 

Sunday, 22 October 2023

Lamentation Number Thirty Nine

Something puzzled me as a very small boy, and my confusion has deepened ever since.  I will try to explain the problem and at the same time respond (as I usually do, in Haiku form) to the the Poets and Storytellers' Friday prompt . . . 

WHY?



Why did the chicken?
It's said "Because the higher
the fewer." ??? Search me!

Reminds me of a verse from the Rubyaiyat of Omar Khayyham:

'Myself when young did oft frequent
doctor and saint, and heard much argument
about it and about. But evermore
went out by the selfsame door I came in.'

 . . . and I hope that makes everything clear.






Friday, 15 September 2023

Lamentation Number Thirty Eight

No Use Crying . . . 


Wrote love-letters. Spilt
black ink all over them. Stormed
out. (Fate always wins . . . )


This despondent haiku (5-7-5 syllables) is my response to Magaly's prompt on Poets&Storytellers United, where me were asked to reflect on Love, Ink and Storm.  What a recipe for heartache!
 

Friday, 8 September 2023

Lamentation Number Thirty Seven

Haiku In Memory


Girls in my youth wore
Blue Grass, Lenthérique. All gone!
(like my sense of smell  . . .)

This week, Rosemary invites us to write about fragrance, perfume, all that delights (or dismays) the olfactory sense. Alas . . . age has reduced mine to almost zero.  As noted here.

Friday, 1 September 2023

Lamentation Number Thirty Six

A Sundered Haiku 


Marriage to divorce,
from triumph to disaster -
win-win for lawyers.

Always good to see Divorce triumphing over the disaster of Love gone wonky, so here is an illustration of the idea in response to the Poets and Storytellers weekly prompt.

Friday, 25 August 2023

Lamentation Thirty Five (*)

A pessimist's response to Poets & Storytellers asking for our 'muscle memories.'

Haiku(s) In Memoriam.

Verses

In times past muscles
served me well. Swung hammers, dug
ditches, built railroads.

Then I took to drink,
Swapped my six-pack for tinnies
Swing the elbow now.

Can still crush empties
with one hand, (though not full ones
like weightlifters can.)

Punning on 'can' there!
Did you note? 'Cans' and 'Tinnies'?
(I'll get me coat)

Chorus. (Sing after each verse)
Biceps, triceps, quads and pects
all reduced to flabby wrecks


(*) Followers, friends and fans might be wondering what happened to Lamentation Thirty Four.  '34' is one of the gloomiest integers in the number field from minus to plus infinity, along with 369 and 1000000000000066600000000000001(**)  I'm sure you can work out why.  Thus it seemed prudent to miss 34 out.

(**) Known as 'Belphegor's Prime.'  It is too!  It's prime!  Check it out. Also - 2 sequences of 13 zeroes and 'the sign of the beast, 666' in the middle, AND it's palindromic.  If that doesn't depress you . . .