A pessimist's response to Poets & Storytellers asking for our 'muscle memories.'
Haiku(s) In Memoriam.
Verses
In times past muscles
served me well. Swung hammers, dug
ditches, built railroads.
Then I took to drink,
Swapped my six-pack for tinnies
Swing the elbow now.
Can still crush empties
with one hand, (though not full ones
like weightlifters can.)
Punning on 'can' there!
Did you note? 'Cans' and 'Tinnies'?
(I'll get me coat)
Chorus. (Sing after each verse)
Biceps, triceps, quads and pects
all reduced to flabby wrecks
(*) Followers, friends and fans might be wondering what happened to Lamentation Thirty Four. '34' is one of the gloomiest integers in the number field from minus to plus infinity, along with 369 and 1000000000000066600000000000001(**) I'm sure you can work out why. Thus it seemed prudent to miss 34 out.
(**) Known as 'Belphegor's Prime.' It is too! It's prime! Check it out. Also - 2 sequences of 13 zeroes and 'the sign of the beast, 666' in the middle, AND it's palindromic. If that doesn't depress you . . .
How could I not love this chorus?! :-)
ReplyDeleteI love words but am bamboozled by numbers so no, cant see why there is something gloomy about 34. (And I think 369 is magical, so there!) But enjoyed the poem – and now am wondering if you're a fellow-Aussie, or do they say 'tinnies' in other countries too?
ReplyDeleteOh darn, Google keeps making me anonymous tonight. This is Rosemary.
DeleteHello Rosemary. No, I'm not an Aussie, but I can speak a little Strine. I learned it from a wonderful book - 'They're a Weird Mob' by an Italian immigrant to the Land Down Under called Nino Cullota. This book was published waaaayyyy back in the 1950's when pommes could buy passage to Australia for 10GBP.
DeleteThere's a story to that book. I was wearing a different hat at the time and I had lost my copy. One of your other contributors (who must remain nameless, of course) heard of my plight, hunted down a copy of the book - in Sydney, I think - and posted it to me from the far side of the world. Who could forget such kindness? I will never meet or hug the person, but I will never, ever be less than hugely grateful. Talk about hands across the oceans . . .
Rosemary - 34 is a Fibonacci number. Maybe that's what makes The Horseman doubtful.
DeleteHaha Love it The chorus is hilarious. I thought you were an Aussie as well. Read your answer to Rose Marie and that's so sweet to send you a copy of that book
ReplyDeleteI love that clever chorus. Too true
ReplyDeleteYay! You have a humorous streak to match my own. :-)
ReplyDeleteI totally sang the chorus. And the whole piece resonate with. I remember when I could run 3 miles in under 20 minutes, when I could do 20 pull-ups while grinning like a happy fool, oh... those good old days. Then came cancer and Crohn's, and well, age. The flabby wreck is real!
ReplyDelete*off to sing the chorus again... and giggle*
I'm so sorry to hear that, Magaly. Blessings.
DeleteI've been going through your Older Posts, Horseman. I wish you joy - of something. Anything! Your haikus are always a laugh, though.
ReplyDeleteYou know what, Horseman. I bet you're really good company after a couple of pints.
ReplyDeleteI'm with the good Doctor! Would love to raise an elbow or two with you ( and him ) .....
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha , this is a nice one and the chorus 😄
ReplyDeleteGotta love the chorus on this one!
ReplyDelete