Saturday, 14 July 2012

Lamentation Six

My Pet Haiku.















I do not like cats.                          
Their claws dig in my legs when    
they climb my trousers.                  

I wear cricket pads.                        
They attack me from the rear!        
There IS a bonus -                          

they reach my ass and                    
not my b****cks before they          
attack with their teeth.                    

Can't understand why            
I keep fifty-five of the
horrible creatures.

A perfect Friday Flash fiftyfiver for the G-Man!!

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Lamentation Five


Defective Haiku  


Shit! This User Guide
has not one word on "How to
escape from jam-jars."


Prompt thanks to Tess Kincaid at Willow Manor.  Image by Manu Pombrol.

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Lamentation Four

Haiku for Jonahs Everywhere

(Image by Alex Stoddard)

Not breathing too well,
but living in hope. A blue
whale might rescue me.

One of many responses to Tess Kincaid's prompt for Magpie#114.  There are better ones, surely?

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Lamentation Three

Haiku For Omelettes Everywhere


walking on eggshells
has never been easier
death to all chickens


Posted for Magpie#112

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Lamentation Two

Haiku Through a Glass Darkly


"Are you not Alice?"
"You're right. Alice I am not,
nor Alice Cooper."

My short post for Magpie 110 - a very interesting blog for writers and readers.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Magpie Tales#109


Lamentation One.

The groaning gears of the World
grind on their shattered axle. Now observe
a trivial man trying to put things right.
Has he not seen, has no one seen the mist,
the creeping mist coming from top of pic
to thwart his wrenching?  God, how he wrenches.
Look up good man!  Can you not see the dust
of raven haunted prophecy that swallows
the vast meridian star by star
in the pocked night sky?  And thus confronted
you with your four foot wrench and puny arms
are like a seaman on the doomed Titanic
rearranging deck chairs and soothing
the First Class saying, "Nay, the ship's not burst-
-ing at the seams. We have stopped a while
to take on board fresh ice, that's all.
Shut your cabin doors against the iron rings
of truth and let's away. Yes, let's away!"

An attempt at a Magpie by one who believes poetry knows no bounds.

Friday, 29 April 2011

Have You Noticed . .

No-one ever visits this blog.  I've noticed, and being not noticed makes me even more sad and miserable than I usually am. Also, I have no followers. I mean, look at Catherine and Wills!  They had millions of followers all day today.  If I got married in Westminster Abbey and then went along the Mall in a horse- drawn open landau someone would probably throw a bomb and blow my hat off. Or my foot.  Then I'd have nothing to put in my mouth. On the one side anyway. So please . .  if anyone reads this, please be my first follower. We might even be able to cheer each other up.