Friday, 28 March 2025

Eliot Didn't Know the Half . . .

"April" he said, "is the cruellest month," a statement so contentious that Poets and Storytellers United asks us to comment.
I know more about April's cruelty, its total disregard of the "still, sad music of humanity" than T.S.Eliot ever did. Why?  Because (see my Blog Profile) my field of study is things going wrong (e.g. spilt milk), all the way up to unprecedented disasters (e.g. writing poetry under a name that is an anagram of "Toilets.") 
I prefer the Eeyore take on life to the Pangloss every time.  One is less likely to be disappointed . . .

So -  a few haiku in support of April's cruelty:-

Lamentations Forty to Forty-Four 

April 1865
Lincoln was shot dead
watching a satire on the
Second Amendment.

April 1906
The folk of 'Cisco
woke to events that left them
shaking in their shoes.

April 1912.
The 'Titanic' sank
because her cargo holds were
crammed with excess ice.

April 1986
Staff cooking breakfast
in Cherbonyl's reactor
turned the gas too high.

April 2019
Notre Dame de Paris
knew God's wrath called for "A fire,
not a flood, next time!"

April - every year
sends all four seasons (*) 
in one day. Snow, sun, wind, rain -
Now that IS cruel . . .

(*) Well, it does where I live.


11 comments:

  1. I very much enjoyed these satirical little verses!

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  2. Poor April has its full share of woe, as the statistics prove...

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  3. Bend Oregon joins you in disparaging the snow, sun, wind, rain and [sometimes hail] .... enjoyed your clever haiku!

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    1. Thank you Helen. And there was me thinking "Bend Oregon" was an instruction rather than a location! Silly me . . .

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    2. Ooops! That shouldn't have been 'Anonymous" Leaving comments confuses me. In case I get it wrong again I'm "The Fifth Horseman," Prince of Pessimism!

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  4. Not bad for an apocalyptic sensation ole chap ! Witty clever take on April.

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    1. Dear Rall . . . you're surely aware that the apocalypse is only just around the corner. I look forward to meeting you "on the far side."

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  5. Replies
    1. Thank you most warmly. But they're not meant to be funny. They're meant to convert a sense of impending doom. Folk just don't get it! The End is Nigh! And it's not April till next week . . .

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  6. Ohh, this is such a witty take on this prompt. It's like a miniature history lesson.

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    1. Google has many more examples of April's malignity. April should be abandoned. April is a blot on the calendar. Out, out, damned April! Sign the 'Stop April' petition

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I welcome your comments, the gloomier the better. I don't think there's much hope, but that doesn't mean I'm not interested in what you have to say. If you expect me to approve your comment before it appears, you're about to be disappointed. Never have understood why some hypersensitive bloggers need to see what others say before they allow the comment. Poor, sensitive wee souls.