No-one ever visits this blog. I've noticed, and being not noticed makes me even more sad and miserable than I usually am. Also, I have no followers. I mean, look at Catherine and Wills! They had millions of followers all day today. If I got married in Westminster Abbey and then went along the Mall in a horse- drawn open landau someone would probably throw a bomb and blow my hat off. Or my foot. Then I'd have nothing to put in my mouth. On the one side anyway. So please . . if anyone reads this, please be my first follower. We might even be able to cheer each other up.